The Great Debate

Being a Yankee, I grew up with the best mayo ever – Hellman’s Real Mayonnaise. I remember sitting on the kitchen table, in my Sunday best, waiting for the rest of my family to finish getting ready for church when all of a sudden, my mom walks in the kitchen and confiscates the jar of mayo from my hands.

I couldn’t have been more than 4 years old. I remember because she even picked me up off the table and basically sat me in the kitchen sink to clean me up. Speechless. Just shaking her head and repeating my name over and over while she scrubbed my hands.

Lunch was a Boar’s Head bologna sandwich on white bread slathered with mayo.

There is nothing like a white bread and mayo sandwich. With bacon. I’m salivating just thinking about it. In fact, it may just be my cheat meal next week. Oh yeah…a BLT on white bread. No wait…mayo with bacon, lettuce and tomato on white bread.

I’ve recently moved South and was making more than my share of tuna salad, chicken salad, cold cut sandwiches and ran out of Hellman’s so I tried another brand. Seriously. Talk about ew. My mom has warned me against making such a change in brands, especially with mayo. I know, I know!!! I should have just went without. EWWWWWW, I TELL YOU!!!

That is, until I was requested to purchase yet another brand. Because “It’s the BEST”. Standing in the condiment aisle, I scoffed at the jar in my hand. There is no possible way that this is going to be better, let alone as delicious, than Hellman’s.

I don’t know if I want to write this post…debating which mayo is better…that’s more controversial than debating the better caliber.

The jar in my hand was Duke’s Mayo ~ The Secret of Southern Cooks. No shit. Why the hellman’s is this brand not available for purchase in the North East????

First things first. After putting the groceries away, I stood at the counter staring at the jar, preparing myself for another disappointment. I unscrewed the lid, lifted the jar to my nose and inhaled. It passed the smell test. It, at least, smelled like mayo. Armed with my spoon I took a deep breath, in anticipation of what I was hoping would not make me gag. I glided the spoon across the top of the mayo, pretending it was my beloved Hellman’s knowing the whole time that it wasn’t, thinking that maybe Hellman’s delivered direct to the consumer. The texture was different. Creamier. I tasted it. I double dipped. And savored the second spoonful. 

Duke’s is an enhancer. It brings out the flavor of whatever you are using it in. It doesn’t overpower like Hellman’s. I made chicken salad and Duke’s was the only change. I could taste the mayo but the salad as a whole just tasted more delectable.

This is one delicious condiment that can rip generations apart. Children disowned when mom comes to visit for lunch and you don’t put out Hellman’s Real Mayonnaise…oh no…you put out Duke’s. Why? Because you discovered, at the simple request that you change brands one week, that Duke’s Mayonnaise is what mayo is supposed to taste like.

(Yes, that’s right. I just wrote a review on mayo. BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA)