Leaving well enough alone.

I gotta admit something. I do not, ever, ask for help. I flat out refuse help when its offered. Or, at least I used to. Circumstances over the last month have made me realize that you just can’t fight Mother Nature. And I’ve learned that when I ask God for patience, he puts an obstacle in my path.

Funny how you humble yourself when you get the keys stuck in the overhead garage door at your aunt & uncle’s vacation cottage because all you wanted to do was shovel the damn deck and steps because in true fashion, you eventually will slip on the ice that was created by your footsteps  in the snow to begin with and split your skull wide open with only the woodland creatures there to help you. This isn’t Snow White or Sleeping Beauty…the animals aren’t gonna talk you through your concussion & call an ambulance for you. Further thought…what address would these imaginary animals give the 911 operator because the township up & changed the house numbers??? I had enough difficulty getting a pizza delivered to the house.

Speaking of woodland creatures…I am very annoyed that when I go hunting I never see anything in season. I was very put out when I saw all the deer and turkey around the cottage. That’s a whole other post…

In my haste to not want to slip & fall, I didn’t really think it through. Seriously…what the hell did I think was gonna happen when I took the key ring that was nice & warm from inside the house and slipped the key inside the lock on the outside garage door?

I’ll tell you what I thought. I thought: Hey girl…it’s Saturday…you should really shovel the deck and steps so you don’t kill yourself rushing out the door Monday morning.


I leave for work around 7:30am…it was 10 degrees out that whole week. My car doors were frozen shut every morning just from the cold. I should have known better.

The key slipped right into the lock. It wouldn’t budge as I tried to turn it. No worries..I’ll just pull it out. I dropped a few f-bombs, stomped my foot and scared all the woodland creatures away when I couldn’t get the damn thing out.

I realized that the locking mechanism was frozen.*flashback to my car doors* I knew if I had some oil or WD-40, I’d be able to get the key out. However…I also knew that both items were safely tucked away in the same garage I was trying to open. *Don’t panic. Just get the extension cord and plug your hairdryer in and heat up the lock and the key will release. Problem: the extension cords are in the same damn garage.*

My hands frozen and bleeding from trying to yank that key out, I admitted defeat. And I did the one thing that I really did not want to do. I called one of the neighbors. My aunt left me a list of phone numbers “just-in-case”. She knows me so well. It was a full 3 weeks before I had to call an unknown neighbor for help. But she knew…she knew. *sigh*

The gentleman that I called (Steve) was very kind and understanding. He kept his laughter from bubbling up and said he’d be over shortly.

Now…”shortly” to me, an impatient, displaced New Yorker, out in the middle of nowhere, is about 10 minutes, tops.

I didn’t even bother taking my coat off, figuring that as soon as he arrived, I’d just be putting it back on again. I sat on the sofa and waited.

15 minutes pass…then 20. Impatience and embarrassment setting in, I decided to take my coat off,  empty the dishwasher and spray down the bathtub. As I am spraying down the tub, I hear banging outside. I drop the SoftScrub spray, grab my coat and bolt out the back door, knowing it must be Steve.

I really didn’t know what to expect of him. I see a grey-haired old man and my first thought was “Shit. I dragged this old man out here in the cold because of something silly. I should have just went to Wal-Mart 45 minutes away and bought a shovel and WD-40″. He turned around and smiled at me. I swear…he looked like Tony Sirico a/k/a Paulie from The Sopranos. In one hand he had one of those old fashioned oil cans from yesteryear and in the other a pair of pliers. Squirting some oil into the lock, he positioned the pliers just right and the key slid out. No damage to the key whatsoever. Don’t you know he put the key back in the lock just to see what would happen.

This is what happened:

The key got stuck. Again. He goes “huh. maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

Ya think?

Comments ( 4 )

  1. ReplyLB @ Bullets And Biscuits

    Two words....that sucks! hahha. This story could have been a page right out of my life. ;)

  2. ReplyBorepatch

    Merry Christmas. Hope you got your keys back.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>