Besides failing at my goal of posting more, I figured out a few more goals that I have failed at and need to master.
1. Make a good pot of coffee. No matter what I do, I cannot brew coffee. I’ve used more tablespoons, less tablespoons, changed brands. The Keurig was invented for people like me. But I will CONQUER THE COFFEE MAKER!
2. Be a published photographer. Not in a fashion magazine spread type way, but in the local paper or an online photography mag for amateur photogs. It doesn’t help that my 35mm film camera is busted, nor is there is anywhere to develop my own shots so that means I need to purchase a digital SLR and I’m overwhelmed at the variety of said digital SLRs. My camera phone will have to do for now.
3. Learn to swim. YES, I am in my early 30s and never learned to swim. YES, I grew up surrounded by beaches and never learned how to swim. YES, I worked at a summer camp that had 2 Olympic sized pools and NEVER LEARNED HOW TO SWIM. I am going to blame my unknowingly overprotected parents for this as I think I developed a fear of water as a child based off stories they told me about my brothers and their swim adventures.
4. Stop kicking my dog in the face when she sleeps under my desk. This is a difficult one as she always manages to sleep directly under my feet, so it’s either roll over her paws with my chair or accidentally kick her in the face. Secretly, I think she likes it. See?
kicked in the face and still sleeping
5. Get more range-time in. It’s been almost 2 years since I held a firearm with the intent to discharge that sweet little brass bullet down a valley of sand and grass into an innocent looking, yet guilty, paper target.
6. Kick my Candy Crush Saga addiction.
7. Acquire some mad skills, such as siphoning energy from those that have excess or OCD so that I don’t have very many lazy days where I feel guilty about not folding towels when I go to bed for the night. Who am I kidding. I don’t feel guilty at all.
8. Learn to drive stick. I’m lazy, therefore, no manual driving for me!
9. Follow through. This list means shit because I have no follow through unless it’s something I really want to do, so forget about number 6.
10. Find and purchase a power cord for my sewing machine. I’m sure it’s in the house somewhere, but here is where my lack of follow through and laziness kicks in because I checked the closet and it wasn’t in there so the gremlins must have taken it.
11. Taking a shower when I first get up instead of before I have to leave the house.
12. Keeping my gas tank at least 1/2 full at all times in case there is an emergency. AGAIN, I am too lazy, so I always push it and get annoyed at the idiot light flashing at me when I’m 5 miles away from the nearest gas station.
13. Participate more in my sister-in-law’s Hump Day Haiku‘s
14. Invent a teleportation device.
15. Get a haircut. And a dye job. I mean really…”Ombre” is the new color style? Well, then, I fit right in as my hair color is blonde at the tips and gets darker the closer to my roots.
For those of you not in the know…I present the definition of Ombre as an adjective, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: having colors or tones that shade into each other —used especially of fabrics in which the color is graduated from light to dark. OF FABRICS, PEOPLE, NOT HAIR ( I added that last part myself)
16. I can’t think of anything else, but I’m sure more will occur to me after I publish this.